When my mom is on the phone
dominicandarwinism: Mom: Yeah, they’re great. She’s home, actually. Do you wanna say hi? Me:
How I eat →
thelaughingmango: the way i eat in a public place/restaurant they way i eat at home
Mom: I’m going now, I want the house clean when...
sodamnrelatable: You: Yeah, sure thing. Next hour and a half… And then your mom calls to say she’ll be home in 15 minutes…
how to kiss
conversationparade: [step 1] open your mouth as wide as possible. make sure to stick out your tongue as far as you can, too, since kisses are like, 90% that thing [step 2] find someone to kiss. you will know they want to kiss because their tongue will also be extended at full length [step 3] move in for the kill
When theres a hair on your tongue and you try to...
laughingstation: And you’re all like “WHY CANT I FIND YOU” You will laugh out loud!